OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA -- In a once-peaceful household, two sides are engaged in a bitter standoff. No deaths have occurred but two parents have been reported injured by the cries of a resistance fighter, who is holding his ground and has refused to sit down for diplomatic talks.

The conflict stems from the parents' insistence that the little revolutionary drink from a bottle. In previous months, the rebel movement and the parental front have enjoyed a civil albeit occasional exchange of pumped breast milk via a colic-reducing bottle with silicone nipple. However, in recent weeks, the rebel movement has refused to engage in any form of sustenance obtainment that does not involve direct contact with the breast. General Dad has fought valiantly for the last 9 days, attempting a cease-fire in various venues and away from the scent of Colonel Mama, and has brought in additional reinforcements in the form of alternative bottles and nipples. Isolated victories have occurred in varying degrees, but no solution has yet proved effective in bringing lasting peace.

Tensions are mounting as the weekend approaches, as the parental army has planned a non-negotiable evening away in order to attend a wedding. If the resistance fighter refuses to agree to bottle feeding, then analysts expect he may go hungry for several hours and collateral damage may occur in the form of grandparental casualties and motherly guilt.

Anderson Cooper and Christiane Amanpor will continue to file exclusive reports from the front lines as developments occur.