March 13, 2005
Tips for the Guys When Playing Poker With a Woman
1. Don't list her options for her every time it's her turn to act. Your constant reminders--"It's 75 to you to call", "You can raise, you know", "You could just check"--while oh so thoughtful, are really not necessary, thank you very much. See that big stack of chips in front of me? One thing it could possibly signify is this: I understand the basics of the game.
2. Don't act guilty and say, "oh, man, I feel so bad!" when I finally make a judgement call to lay down a hand after I've bet heavy into you for a couple of rounds. If there's one thing a lady knows, it's when to stop investing in a relationship that won't pay off. Did you say "I feel so bad" after winning a big pot off any of the guys at the table? Don't remember if you did after all those full-to-the-brim glasses of wine you had? Allow me to help: No, you didn't.
3. Don't say things like "Mama needs a new purse!" when one of the ladies at the table takes you down. If you knew anything about women, you'd know it's shoes, not bags, that we all run out and spend our winnings on, beeyotch.
3 comments
What have I done to my wife? I have created a monster. I would be worried if I wasn't so damn proud!
That's sooooo funny (and so true). :-)
The one thing I don't understand is why you are drinking wine while playing poker. On the hit t.v. show Roseanne they always had beer (from the can) when they played poker. If you need me to sing the theme song to the show to jog your memory I can - at first it was instrumental but in the last couple of seasons it was "What doesn't kill us is making us stronger. We're gonna live longer."
HairyAlien sez: I'll have you know that I was drinking beer. It was, however, Fat Tire Ale. This is the Bay Area, after all.