Haven't I loved you the way you need to be loved? Haven't I stuck up for you when people who don't live here can't understand why I would choose to stay put in a city notorious for its crime, mismanagement, and lack of "there"?

Even though I missed the no-parking start time at the curb in front of my own house by a whopping 3 minutes and your employee was so rude when I tried to explain to him, "No need to finish writing that ticket, sir, I live right here and was unloading but I am moving my car into the driveway right now," I begrudgingly agreed to pay this latest addition to my nightmare-inducing collection of parking tickets because I know you need the money. I read on the ticket that I could pay online. "Aw, look," I thought proudly, "How sweet of my little city to offer me such an easy and eco-responsible method of payment." So why, dear Oakland, are you charging me a $2 "convenience fee" to pay my ticket as such? Is it truly less "convenient" for your employees to deal with an online payment than to open an envelope, remove its contents, mark my bill as paid in your system, and endorse and deposit my check?

You want me to pay you to let me pay? Sigh. Oakland, sometimes you make it so hard to love you.

Sincerely,
Arin

P.S.: Please use the 1 gazillion dollars I have sent you for parking violations this year to work on improving your public schools for my kid. Thanks!